Me

2009-08-03T19:37:00.000+08:00

There's nothing to look forward to this week, except for National Day Celebration(s) on Friday.
And next Monday, since it's a holiday.

Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts.

Boho

2009-07-31T21:16:00.000+08:00

I missed school on Thursday this week (again).
The stupid thermometer reads 39.2 degrees C, and I swear it's giggling at my plight.
Everytime I take my temp at home, it reads 'alll normal and sane' but when in the doctor's room,
it screams 'SCREW YOU'.

So the temp's fluctuating between 36.6 and 39.2 degress.
My doctor insists I report to TTS hospital, but I don't wanna go.
Mind you, I'm not afraid of needles or illnesses, I just really really despise LONG QUES and HOURS OF WAITING.
It makes the blood rush to my head.
Mum says if I'm still running a fever then the hospital is a must. =(
I'm losing my voice, and my chest hurts.

On a completely irrelevant note,
The parents meeting session went well today.
It's nice to have your teachers pin so much of hope on you. (:
For the record, I cleared all 3 H2 subjects, and my H1s too, except for math(makes a face).

I scored a D for lit. =(
and Geog wasnt fantastic either =((

I'll have to push harder now then ever,
Like Mr Toh said, I AM capable of doing better.

Fickle

2009-07-23T13:43:00.002+08:00

Today's Thursday, and I've not been in school since the start of the week.
This flu/fever's gonna be the death of me, I swear.

Well, pardon me.
If you think I have a warped sense of self and insist that I insert myself in crevices I don't belong in,
then boy oh boy are you mistaken.
You know, I blame myself for my efforts, all in vain, to perk you up, to try to make you feel better and smile.
If you deem those efforts pointless and self-indulgent on my part, then I'll do it your way and not give a crap.
If this's what you want, then this's what I'll give you.
I hope I'm not the only one who can read between the lines, and you know for a fact that you're not the only
one who intentionally inserts puns between sentences.
I called to clarify and since you insist nothing is wrong, then so be it.
Nothing lossed, nothing gained.

I cannot blog coherently today; the fever's got my brain in a knot.

2009-07-09T10:04:00.003+08:00

Beauty is as beauty does

So I'm over and done with the last Lit paper.

Yesterday was pretty fun.
The game went well. Had a good time.

Pira, if you're reading this;
Ring me!

That must have been the shortest blog entry ever- it was so short it was almost a twitter.
Except I don't do Twitter.
Twitter is annoying with a capital A.

Unless you're an A list celeb with a HUGE following or Sxephill, I doubt anyone'll care about what you're doing half your life anyway.
I mean, come on! REALLY?
Why would anyone care if you're at the beach or going to sleep or running to the toilet because your bladder's about to go on overdrive.
Reality check: You could die on the road on the way back from school and no one would give a flying fuck.
Sorry, but the truth hurts. :D

Oh well.
So there. THAT'S why I don't Twitter- because it's a complete waste of time and my energy.
And I swear to god, The next person who asks me to twitter'll get my phone rammed up his/her ass.

Miranda Kerr

2009-07-06T22:41:00.003+08:00

Miranda Kerr is so amazingly beautiful.
She's so coy and sexy, with wit and intelligence to boot.
She's so lovely, I don't mind her being with Orlando.

Pira

2009-07-06T21:49:00.007+08:00

Okay so there's been a few changes in my recent life, which include :

1. Having a hair-cut.

2. Attaining relative Freedom (or so I'd like to think), considering I've only got 1 more paper to go till the end of Promo 1s.

3. Realising I have the best friend in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

I love Pira and I just can't say that enough.

I was supposed to meet her after my geog paper.
But I was depressed and moping after it.
So I told Pira that I have to cancel (on MSN), because we'd planned to meet later on in the day. And also because Bobby bit his nails till they were sore and bleeding, and he was practically shoving his body onto mine, in the 'STAY-WITH-ME-YOU'LL-REGRET-IF-I-DIE' kinda way.

So half an hour later, she texts me asking if I'm okay.
I reply saying I'm sucidal to no reply.
So I figure that's that.

But Shortly I receive this text, saying something along the lines of
"Hey, I'm outside your house".
And when I rush to get the door, in comes the bestie with an assortment of Häagen-Dazs ice-cream she'd bought in cold Storage for me.
oh.my.god.
I feel so loved. (:

Okay so anyway, she stayed till night fell.
Mum bought us trash-unhealthy burgers and fries from Mcdonalds and we lived happily ever after, gossiping and rotting away
.
If you meet Pira and don't fall in love with her; I'll eat my shoe. (:
On a totally irrelevant note,
Happy Belated Aidil Hakim! (:

And Buzz, GOODLUCK , for your A level oral tomorrow (:

P.S : I CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT WAIT TILL WEDNESDAY.

Hiatus

2009-06-28T02:27:00.001+08:00

Check back in a week or so for updates.

Busy with Promos for now.

Picture Perfect

2009-06-21T09:59:00.004+08:00

Photos fade, but memories are forever.

Yesterday was family day, and Pira came over since she's technically family.

I've not had that much fun in a while.
((:

It's weird how sometimes you feel lost and bitter until something happens that reminds you of how lucky you are.

Yesterday while I was sitting down, I looked around at the room full of radiating people;
the younger cousins running about, the adults letting their hair down; getting in on the games, the food my aunts cooked with love, mum singing and parading the house with Bobby and Aiah bullying the kids, my grandmas gossiping away.

Turning my head, I looked to my right to find my best friend beside me, taking in everything just as I was.

And at that moment it dawned on me, how lucky, fortunate and blessed I am.

I have an amazing family, with supportive and absolutely amazing parents, crazy cousins and aunts and uncles who try their hardest to hold the family together via gatherings ever quarter of the month.

And my best friend knows me inside-out; takes me for who I am and loves me just like that.

I have everything I need, and I'm highly contented.

No one else/Nothing else matters anymore.
They are/This is enough for me to strive on
(:

Of Zombies, Phantoms and Obamzilla

2009-06-18T08:57:00.013+08:00

At 4am this morning, I was awake, after being sleepless for 2 nights; drowning in fatigue and all worn out and tired.
And being the most productive person in the world, this is what I decided to do :

Yes, Sherlock. Bobby IS half asleep

On a totally irrelevant note,

For those of you who don't already know, :

During a CNBC interview, Obama was distracted by a fly.
He then ventured to kill it, displaying excellent hand-eye coordination.

America's enemies, beware.
Not only is Obama a Harvard graduate and a world-class leader,
he is also a higly trained ninja.

Twilight

2009-06-17T04:13:00.005+08:00

It's 4am, and here I am.

Both the air conditioners in the hall are switched on and set so cold, I'm forced to wrap my shawl around myself.
The lights are off; and I'm all comfortable and snuggled up on my sofa.

The world's right about perfect right now;
Just my favourite Chicago Cheesecake and myself, with Rachel Getting Married playing on 'digital quality' on my big screen.

In a few hours, the movie will end, and I will hit the sack.
In a few hours, reality will slap me across my face again, and I will be a day closer to Promos.

Wordplay

2009-06-16T13:32:00.003+08:00

It’s been so long since I sat down to write.
I’ve been wasting my life away these days, even abstaining from the thing I do the best and that comes to me most naturally; writing.
For some reason, I have this irrational fear gnawing at me. I can’t place it, I can’t describe it, but most importantly, I can’t seem to counter it.

“Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game”

On a totally irrelevant note,

I am all over the place now.
There’s just so much to do.
Promo 1’s 2 days short of 2 weeks away and here I am; blogging. Procrastinating.
Can someone please give me a good shake ?

P.S : I really do hope the Commonwealth competition'll prove to be worth my effort(s).

Footnote; The quote up there, it's from Izzy's blog.
It's amazing how inspiring the dude is, even on his blog (:

stony gargoyles

2009-02-21T23:59:00.004+08:00

Life is not a scoreboard and every year is not a new round of charades, to put it aptly.

" Stop rummaging round in his poor brain! That’s bad manners.
If you went to someone’s house, would you go poking round in their underwear draw without their consent? "

Change is the only constant

2009-02-01T01:10:00.003+08:00

Pira and Winder are leaving.

I don't even want to type this entry out. I really really just want to turn this bloody gadget off, storm around the house cursing under my breath for some absolutely petty reason and then retreat to the darkest corner of my house, sulking till the cows come home.

But this is healthier. It's better for me.
Now I'm trying to procrastinate blogging out how I feel, by talking about how blogging is healthy.

I feel sad.
In the truest sense of the word.
I don't feel depressed or have suicidal thoughts or anything.
I'm just- sad.

I'll miss the both of them for two very different reasons, but essentially for the same thing; their physical presence.

This is going to be a tough year.
I already see my worst fears taking form; this is going to be a year of fighting personal demons weather I like it or not.

2009

2009-02-01T01:04:00.005+08:00

No, the earth did not part and swallow me.
My parents didn't kill me because I broke something very expensive.
I didn't get killed crossing the road while texting.
I did not slip and fall in the toilet (or anywhere else, for that matter)

I forgot my password.
As annoying and irritating as it sounds, I forgot my password.
How convenient.

post-birthday-post Post

2008-11-09T02:11:00.004+08:00

Wow, I'm 17.
I've lived through 15 and 16 and that alone makes me feel likeI've lived through eternity, and maybe a little more.
I'd never trade a single day of my (now long-gone) 'earlier' teen days though.
They've made me wiser and stronger.

On a somewhat relevant note,

Today I tucked myself in a corner, with my face between my knees, and my hands wrapped around them and launched into my own space of whirling thoughts.
After 17 years of trying to understand myself, my peers, my family, stupid twits, and impossible people, I have hit a point of realisation and realised (I know that sounds funny, shut up!) that
certain facts of life never change regardless of if you're 7, 17 or 70. (or 170, if you live that long) :

1. You don’t have to be fair and skinny and have flawless skin or razor sharp features to be
beautiful.
Eating right, being self-accepting, forgiving and living healthy makes you beautiful.
Period.
Love you for you, and others will too.

2. I’ve learnt that you can’t satisfy everyone you meet and that everyone feels like a screw-up
in some point in time or another. But that’s OKAY.
People who don’t like you/attempt to make life miserable for you/who you can't satisfy
deserve no more attention than perhaps a shrug. When you feel like a lame excuse for a
human being, you learn to forgive yourself; pick yourself up and learn from your mistake(s)
because trust me, there are so many more new mistakes for you to make; so many more
screw-ups you're destined to, without having to repeat the same mistakes over and over
again,

Life is a maze, if we sat sobbing at our own sob-stories, we’ll never find our cheese at the end of our maze(s).

So ditch negative people, don on a bright, wide smile and repeat after me :
“ I am beautiful, capable and can make a difference ”

I know I am and that I can. ((:

Sweeeeeet Sexy Savy SEVENTEEN!

2008-11-09T01:56:00.002+08:00

Hello world.
I am Dhivvya and I turned 17 two days ago.

I've never been one to reveal my birthday or hint ever so subtly (or otherwise) about my special day, so I'm obviously someone who dosen't expect a gazillion missed calls or a million MSN windows flashing orange at the strike of midnight on the eve of my birthday.
Yet every year, I am pleasantly suprised by the number of texts, calls and IMs I get.

This year I was especially moved by the people who wished me a very happy birthday; people whom I don't talk to on a regular basis.
It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. (:
It's so easy to remember a friend's birthday when the person and you are excessively in contact.
But it isn't when that friend is an old one whom you hardly get the time to speak or hang with.
So there.

Anyway, for the first time in my life, someone called me on my birthday and had me repeat the very same words I heard.
Haha, HAPPY (Belated) BIRTHDAY DIVYA (Kanagaaaaa).
I had to pen down her dad's name in brackets, since we both live in the same area have the same name and were born on the SAME DATE AND YEAR. 17 babies apart, to be exact.

Thankyou to everyone who said Happy Birthday.
Trust me, you did make me feel special.
=]

Raj the Fixer

2008-11-06T01:16:00.002+08:00

RAJ the FIXER,
-can he fix it?
RAJ the FIXER,
-DUH! Who can't??

hahahahahahhahahahahahha.

♀ Ðhìvvyǻ OBAMA 08. says:
Bob has the cement-mixer thing
♀ Ðhìvvyǻ OBAMA 08. says:
You have what?
♀ Ðhìvvyǻ OBAMA 08. says:
A lorry that looks like a cube?
[i am NOT busy] [ Need to play pool! ] Run baby run, dont ever look back. says:
fuck the cube la!
[i am NOT busy] [ Need to play pool! ] Run baby run, dont ever look back. says:
my rides on frenster

hahahahhahahaha,
Thanks man, I needed that.!
:D

decisions decisions decisions

2008-10-31T14:12:00.006+08:00

Sometimes I wish I had someone to made all my decisions in life for me.
It would be so much easier, wouldn't it?
There'd always be someone to blame, someone to tell you that you've made the right decision, someone you can share the burden of coming up with a decision with.
Someone to get angry with when that decision turns out to be the worst in your life, someone you can scream 'I told you so!' at, at the top of your lungs.
Someone, someone, someone.
Of course, the same wouldn't apply if your decision turns out to be for the best. But still, you'd wish someone was beside you, telling you you've made the right decision; at least until the outcome has been deemed a good one.

But in reality, that someone is really only your conscience.
As teenagers, we always look forward to the day we're to turn 18.
The day we're free to make our own decisions. But when the day arrives, we slowly take subconscious steps backwards, retreating behind the authoritative figures that have always made decisions for us, all our lives.

Because it's scary to assume responsibility.
Taking responsibility for your actions is taxing enough; let alone deciding on your future yourself and then having to live through the consequences of your choices.

I'll spare you the details of all the brooding I've done and all the tears I've shed,
but I hope I've made the right decision.

There's nothing to fall back on now, just what I build from this point onwards.

This whole growing up thing is just so hard.

2008-10-18T05:16:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY RAJWINDER SINGH! ((:

P.S : I'm so sorry for the lack of updates, I know this page has been rotting for the past few weeks. But I'm back now! ((:

Oh and I'm having problems with the tagboard now since a particular tagger managed to spam and damage the board. The new board will be up as soon as I'm done with the new skin.

Promos are over, loosen up and live life to the fullest, people!

Same Old, Same Old

2008-09-02T23:52:00.003+08:00

You know that feeling, that feeling you never want to experience.
That dreaded emotion that threatens to have you on a choke hold?
It's worse that feeling blue, than feeling beaten down and exhausted, somewhere along the lines of feeling defeated and being heartbroken;
I feel sick and tired; I feel bored; I feel uneventful; I feel that life is routine and unexciting.

I've become too comfortable in my comfort zone, one full of tomorrow-will-be-a-better-day[s].
There's always a tomorrow; a tomorrow to start from, a tomorrow to start with.
Instead of correcting myself today, now and on the spot, I choose to think I'll start tomorrow.
And, as we all know, tomorrow never comes.
The to-do list gets longer and longer, with new scribbles and notes on the side margin added consistently, but no strikes stretching horizontally over older urgent words written in a mess; not even if these 'old urgent words' were written a month or two ago.

What worries me the most, is that I know what's happening. What I'm doing to myself.
So why am I not doing anything?
What I AM doing, is wasting the most precious year of my life away; my sweet 16.

If I'm going to make it right, fuck tomorrow(s), I start today.
Right here, right now.

2008-08-27T08:53:00.003+08:00

Firstly, I had no idea that this many people read my blog.
And I would be flattered if it wasn't for the fact that you people don't tag.
(DROPS MAJOR HINT HERE)

Back to my initial thoughts,
The pussycat dolls claim to be role models for young girls.
Exactly what the world needs: slutty 13 year olds being bolder about their sexuality, wearing fish-nets, looking like call-girls and asking if they look like hookers when older guys hit on them.
The world just seems to get more rotten by the day.

On a totally irrelevant note,

I'm painfully bored these days.
Gossip Girl used to keep me going until I decided it was way too superficial for me.
Really, the writer of the series must have been on crack or something.
There's really nothing you can take home from the series. Nothing.

I am going to end abruptly now.
Sleep is coming down on me out of no where.

Sheep Hostage

2008-08-14T21:14:00.006+08:00

SAMANTHA WEI YUNG, I AM GOING TO KIDNAP YOUR (LOLITA) SHEEP AND DO BAD THINGS TO HIM.

BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID.

I need to send Samantha and Pira a post-card. :P

I am exhausted beyond belief, which is funny really because I hardly strained myself physically.
But then again, it's not like I do so on a regular basis (if at all).

I have so many thoughts running through my brain right now, and I can barely keep my eyelights from closing.
Tommorw will be a better day. Tomorrow.

2008-08-11T18:00:00.004+08:00

I had fun Saturday.

Is it wrong for me to be sorely disappointed about Robbert Pattinson playing Edward Cullen?
The only thing I liked about him when he played Cedrig was his voice.
Obviously I must be missing something here. Ok, I will not judge or doubt his acting skills or on-screen charisma until I catch the movie. I can afford to put throwing tantrums and pulling out hair (not necessarily my own) on hold.

I have to stop spending so much of time online.
I have to start caring about things worth giving a shit about.
I have to stop screwing with my own head before I do a Heath Ledger.
I have to stop saying I HAVE TO and actually GET ON IT.
I have to put reading on a hold and start mugging.
When I get back to reading (which I have to ensure isn't too soon), I have to stop jumping from one book to another and then getting frustrated.
I have to give my eyes a break.
I have to sleep more.
But more importantly, I HAVE TO START DOING SOMETHING ABOUT MY GOD-DAMN EDUCATION.

I am (almost) seventeen and I have to stop building cocoons around myself.
I would like to trust people and let them in, but it's hard.
It'd be easier if the world revolved around a boy and the hardest thing you have to do is guard that secret.
Sadly, I am not a bimbo twit and that isn't the case.
I have issues. I think.

2008-08-09T01:09:00.001+08:00

1001 books to read before you die?

Hw about 101 books to read in a year.

2008-08-02T21:22:00.004+08:00

I would blame my lack of updates on me forgetting my blogger password, but I don't feel like lying.

Well, the Mid-year results sucked on a immensely large scale, and I have so many things to do that I could scribble them all on a scroll so long that it would stretch from one end of the great wall of China to the other, possibly even spilling over a little.

On a completely irrelevant note,

The IKEA catalogue just arrived.
I guess mum tried hiding it from me, because every year when my incredibly big eyes are laid on them, I frantically flip and circle the cool stuff I want to get in thick red ink, and start fantasising about a room re-vamp and morph into a very irritating bug and (surprise, surprise) throw tantrums till my mum takes me there (IKEA) to get what I want; but eventually get disgusted because the stuff looked much better in the catalogue and end up buying cups and pretty looking dust-bins. (Yes, I call bins pretty.)

On another irrelevant note,

I hate Mr. D for leaving so soon because it meant I had to cancel plans with Rathiy and Esther to tag along with my parents and meet him.
I'm anxiously anticipating Saturday, because I love Rathiy and I love Esther, I love their company, I love Kino and I love coffee.

:D

I am excited and will kill someone if I have to cancel Saturday.

Christian Bale, please get on top of me.

2008-07-27T01:06:00.002+08:00

The hype is true; The Dark Knight is a perfect movie.

Take it from the girl who caught it on it's premiering night.

2008-07-26T14:05:00.002+08:00

I've missed school for a week now and I see myself burried underneath all that school-work already.

Anyway, the cousins are down from Malaysia and I love them.
I love having them around, I love their company and most of all, I love that we're family.

((:

Of Randomness

2008-07-18T06:13:00.003+08:00

I don't think it's logical to call someone a random person, let alone people walking around tagging themselves with 'I am crazy & random' as though it's a title as prestigious as Miss World.
Everyone has thought processes and we can't possibly be going around telling everyone exactly how our trains of thought go, and so often we end up asking questions that are the product of those thought processes.

Come one, you can't be talking to a person about, say homework, and let then go like :

'That lead me to think about my undone homework, which leads me to think about my pal I have to copy it down from, which leads me to think about the fact that he wasn't in school yesterday, which leads me to think about the hour we spent on the phone the night before confirming his coming to school, which leads me to think about what I watched on tele after that, which causes me to ask you this : Did you watch that television programme last night?'

Nothing is really random.
Unless you claim to think of turtles when I talk about nails, then perhaps you truly are random.

Oh well, this was a really random post.

2008-07-15T21:43:00.001+08:00

Gave school a miss today and the innards are flipping just thinking of how much I missed for Biology.
I have an amazing way of dealing with flipping innards though, because instead of mugging intensively to make up for lost time to ensure all is not lost, I comfortably nestled my ass on my bed and ended up watching season 4 of Entourage.
How much more unproductive can one possible aspire to be?

Pira buzzed me early this morning telling me how much she hates me for not turning up on trashy Tuesday. I suppose I couldn't help it, the Tuesday's silly day and I say that for a valid reason. Monday's jam-packed-with-all-subjects-like-crazy day, and the following day it's dry-like-the-Sahara day.
Oh the brilliant masterminds behind the scheduling of the timetable.

The next person who even slightly hints that Management is an easy subject is going to get egged till there's no area left unegged on.

Change is really the only constant, and even though we despise, loate, hate and truly do not anticipate it, we come to terms with it, adapt and deal.

School Post

2008-07-12T22:08:00.005+08:00

So the Mid-Year results are in and I guess I did okay.
But only if you define okay as absolutely atrocious.
How I could allow myself to achieve such ugly grades, I'll never know.
That's a wake-up call I hear ringing in both my ears now I suppose.

Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS SAMMY for topping Literature. :D
(Earth to Samantha, Earth to Samantha :P)

On a somewhat rel event note,
School's starting to get pretty taxing.
Mondays are now the official bitch-day of the week-
Getting off at 5.45- Bummer; Having GP for our final two periods. MAJOR Bummer.

And I need to stop sleeping.
I used to be insomniac, now I'm reverse insomnic.
The minute I get back from school, I hit the sack and sleep.

I really think we need longer hours of the night and shorter hours of the day.

2008-07-05T12:02:00.002+08:00

Dear Mikey,

I just wanted you to know that I got a tattoo in your honor. I am sure you are watching over me and know all about it, but I just wanted to let you know that now no matter what I know that you are always with me. I know that before you were taken from us, we hadn't seen each other in a long time, but that doesn't make me miss you any less. After I got my tattoo, I searched you and re-read all the articles. And it brought back horrible feelings, but I feel better knowing that they are all in jail. Mikey, what hurts the most is knowing that you would have never hurt a fly and they were so brutal to you. No reason, no remorse. We all miss you and love you mikey and I live every day to it's fullest for you. Live like you would and did. Because your death lets me know that everything can be stripped away just like that. You are a inspiration and you will always be in my heart and on my foot.

Love Always,
Erica

To the bastards that took Mikey away from us:

I hope you all are having a horrible time in prison. I hope the 3 of you get tortured. You took away one of the most amazing people I have ever met and none of you care about what you did. You only cared about your sentances and how long you have to rot in prison. Celia and Gordon lost a son, Jon lost a brother, and we all lost an amazing friend and all you lost is years of freedom. I wish NY had the death penalty. I wish you all had to die the way you killed Mikey. You had no reason. None at all. Over slim jims and a case of beer. He wouldn't have even said anything besides "that's not cool man". I hate you. I really hope that you all die in prison, because I don't know what I would do if I ever saw you on the street. Even if it is years and years from now. The hatred I feel for you is almost unbearable. Fuck you.

-A girl who will never forgive or forget.
___________________________________________________________________

I found the above on the internet and it stirred something inside of me.
It takes a strong person to be able to type that out in one piece.
Let's all hope Mikey rests in peace.

Run Free

2008-07-05T05:19:00.004+08:00

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in;

forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely

and with too high a spirit to be encumbered
with your old nonsense."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Art Of Demotivation

2008-07-04T00:12:00.001+08:00

Dream-chasers, anyone?

And the truth about teamwork :

Reverse-Insomia

2008-07-02T22:14:00.003+08:00

For the past few days, I've seemed to have lost track of time.
That's probably because I've been sleeping the days away. And I mean literally sleeping the days away.
I don't know if the internal system is making up for all the lost sleep or if there's something seriously screwed up somewhere.
Today will be an example; I got back from school at around 11.30 in the a.m, and then plopped over my bed.
Awoke at 4.30 for lunch, and went back to bed.
Awoke at 7, gulped down water, went to the toilet, and then headed back straight to bed.
Now It's 10.17 and I'm up and blogging.
After this, I have a feeling I'm going to feel drowsy and burry my head under my pillow.

Please refrain from buzzing me; the last person who did ended up talking to herself for about 10 minutes before realising I wans't on the other end.

See you in 24-hours.

What sign is your true love?

2008-07-01T08:17:00.001+08:00

Your True Love Is an Aquarius

Why you'll love an Aquarius:

Independent yet devoted, you'll appreciate the unique approach to love Aquarius takes.

You both see love as a bit of a game, and Aquarius will challenge you until you're completely hooked.

Why an Aquarius will love you:

You're secure enough to give Aquarius tons of space - even if it means separate interests and friends.

You have the brains to keep Aquarius engaged and curious. And the passion to change the world together!

What Sign Is Your True Love?

2008-06-30T13:57:00.002+08:00

Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.
The next time you feel words surge from your heart and sting in your throat forcing their way out of your mouth, take a deep breath and swallow it all back in.
Drink lotsa water and hope it gets flushed outta ' your system.

If you don't like someone, avoid them or confront them.
If you're unable to do both, label yourself a hypocrite and take what's coming.
It irritates me when people around me talk about what people do to them, when fact is, they ask for it.

On a completely irrelevent note,

Today' lit paper marked/marks the end of Mid-Years (technically).
As such, I am going to do nothing and watch the afternoone wane into dusk.

Heaven and Hell

2008-06-24T23:22:00.005+08:00

I've decided not to talk about exam papers once they're over and done with.
Like what Sam says, we'll deal with the outcome (good or bad) soon enough.
As of current, I'm on cloud nine just picturing my lazy self bumming around the house this upcoming week.
I pretty much detest this building called school. Someone please tell me how I'm supposed to remain all patriotic and enthusiastic when the sign on the outside of the building reads 'millennium inst.'
Anyone?

I am deprived of television programmes. No, I am deprived of television channels.
Alright, so I'm missing both.
While I'm not a person who ~~watches~~absorbs television programmes like a brainless-zombie-fresh-from-Venus (yes, my zombies are women), I still need my weekly dose of feel-good TV.
Catching latest episodes online don't quite feel as good as catching slightly delayed ones on the tele. If this continues I'm going to be the next female who sticks her head in the oven, shuts the door and turns the temperature up. (With all due respect to women who've attempted this before).
I'm going to surf the net to check out channels available for us, pathetic locals, now.

Heaven And Hell

Heaven is where the police are British,
The chefs Italian, The mechanics German,
The lovers french and it is all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the police are German,
The chefs British, The mechanics French,
The lovers Swiss and it is all organized by the Italians.

2008-06-23T19:33:00.001+08:00

Dear Students,

Please be reminded to attend flag raising at 8 am if you have Morning Paper. i.e 8.30a.m. paper

Thank you.

Best wishes for your examinations.

With best regards,

Mr Chan

I think I have one of the nicest Biology teachers in the Galaxy.
I mean seriously, the Biology paper's only on the 1st of June.
((:

2008-06-22T22:07:00.004+08:00

I LOVE ABIGAIL ASS ARLEN JOSEPH

She is so patient, she puts the A in patience (A because she's, you know, an ass).

You're so nice, I had to post this up.
You're pure love coated with sugar. ((:
Thank you okay, for everything.

Now that I posted this, I hope I can run away from that Starbucks treat that I initiated :P

Curious Cookies

2008-06-20T04:29:00.007+08:00

Dear Pre-Teen self,

Thank you for stashing away a hundred and twenty bucks in one of the lamest inventions the world has ever seen, the ‘Secret Diary’.
You probably knew that a few years down the road you’d have liked to see what incredibly nonsensical unimportant things you considered problems and wasted a good portion of your young life weeping over. You probably would’ve known that you’d have wanted to read it so badly, that it wouldn’t have mattered if you had to break it to read it.
I am so proud of you for getting into all the trouble you possibly could and for being vigilant yet taking chances. I cannot express my gratitude to you for not trying to grow up too fast and for getting into all the trouble humanly possible.
Thank god you never had a boyfriend at 12 or 13, or even 14. Thank god you told yourself you din’t care about what people think/thought at such a young age.
Looking back, I’ll never regret my past. Thank you my pre-teen/early-teen self, for allowing yourself to grow into who you are and overcoming all these horrid obstacles.

Love,
Your Current Self.

Dear Me-in-the-future,

Life will never be of dream-like quality; people will never stop making mistakes and letting you down; you will always trust someone no matter how much you have your guard up, just to feel foolish. There will always be what-ifs, hearts will be shattered, friends will come and go, people will say untrue things, interests will fade, crushes will mature, waist-lines will get broader and narrower, personal-styles will change, hairstyles will change, Bobby will get older, handphones will evolve; No matter what, please stay faithful to yourself.

Respect and love yourself as much as you do now, if not more, and never cave into influence.

Looking forward to hearing from you-during-the-time-that-has-passed soon.

It won’t be soon before long,

A somewhat unsettled & self-doubting 16-year-old Dhivvya

Message

2008-06-17T19:06:00.003+08:00

R,

I'm sorry to hear what I did, about your mum. It was terribly shocking, even for me.
I really am speechless.
I can't even start to immagine how it would feel like & it's perfectly understandable if you want everyone around you to shut up and get swallowed by some Tsunami.
You put on a rather bold front, but she's your mum, and you're probably worried sick inside.
Please be positive, and have faith.
I'll have her in my prayers; she'll be on her toes, up and about in no time.
It's during times like this that you get closer to family, and need their support more than anything.
She'll be okay, she WILL recover.

The most important man in your life

2008-06-15T00:11:00.003+08:00

What are fathers for?

My dearest father, I love you eternity.
Those few words you texted me, at the top of this entry, they make me smile.
I saved that text, just like all the precious moments we spend together. ((:
I don't need to structure a tribute entry to express my gratitute, admiration and love for you.
We know how strong our bond is, and that's sufficent.

Dearest Thatha,
Every year Father's day arrives and the feelings and colours you brought into my life are revived.
You were the one person I never fathomed losing, the closest person to me.
You were a trophy grandfather, and you were my father when Aiah was on all those flights.
Till today, I take out two sets of art materials to make Father's day cards before reality slaps me across the face and I feel that strange sensation in the pit of my stomach.

It's been 4 years.
That evening, when you departed, you took a little piece of me with you.
Even your death served as a lesson to me; to never take anyone for granted.
4 years later, I still feel the emptiness of your absence.
Perhaps more now, than ever.

2008-06-13T18:31:00.007+08:00

Before I start posting, I'd like to say neither am I, nor is this blog peevish; translation : Emo.
It's probably a little dull due to the lack of pretty, colourfull pictures and eyecatching BOLD RED WORDS and expressions like THISSSSSSS. LIKE OMG, CAN YOU HEAR ME SQUEALLLL.
Fret not, I'll do some revamping around here soon.
For now there's just too much on my mind.

Anyhow, the convention was good.
It was really awesome mawsome brawsome, but the second half got draggy and everyone started getting bitter.
So much so that Beth, Raji, Mum and I started scribbling on notebooks and giggling and squealing like school girls. Wait, I AM a school-girl. Whatever's their excuse? :P
After the convention we met up with the guys and walked I-have-no-idea-how-many-miles to eat, during which I started getting grumpy.
Can't blame me though, I technically din't have sleep the whole night before. I was fine after we got there; what, with all that revelling. I felt like the only 'adult' there. *grins*
All-in-all, yesterday was good.

To this certain jellybean deprieved friend of mine,
I hope you're feeling better. I choose not to name you because I don't want the whole world to know what's going on in your life.
People make wrong decisions all the time, sometimes on impulse, and that's normal.
You've done whatever's in your power to make her feel better. Don't bother yourself with all this post-drama. Everything you do or say'll just make things worse.
I think you handled the whole thing rather well. ((:

The whole thing sums up to this: You're just not ready for this whole serious thing.
That's just you and you shouldn't bother trying to justify who you are
If it makes you feel better, you're a kick-ass friend.
If it is't for you, I'll go jump off the school's rooftop.
You really do mean alot to me. So smile.
Like you said- why care what people think?
Always be your rocking self okay, who else can this weirdo count on when she needs to whine?
You'll always have me, my Mcfly burger eating friend.
I might not be able to give you Jellybeans, but I bet home-made jelaebe(s) taste just as good right?
I love you ((:

Oh and, WAZ- I'M UBER PROUD OF YOU OKAY.
You keep me motivated and I swear I beamed & couldn't stop smiling when I learnt of what you did. ((:

2008-06-11T11:14:00.002+08:00

I've been mentally exhausting myself for reasons that don't even count.
I've been ambushed with things that shouldn't even be on my to-do list.
In other words, I have been practising extreme procrastination and the only rewards there are to reap from my current state of mind (and doing) is, in fact, nothing at all.

I should seriously resort to sticking colourful post-its of all shapes and sizes everywhere I find blank spaces to, and scribble in bold and block 'THINGS NEVER GO ACCORDING TO PLAN. DEAL DEAL DEAL.' Perhaps that would serve some purpose and even if not instill and ingrain in my brain, at least remind me that you never know what's going to happen tomorrow so get things done today. Even then I doubt I'll do just that. But really, what choice do I have?

Speaking of choices, I've decided to start saving. Did I just say decided? Because what I meant was that it dawned on me that saving is an essential skill that'll do me good. The current bank balance, or rather just my miserable savings (if that's even what to call it since Mum's been depositing money in my account behind my back from time to time) have been stagnant. And that sucks. Maybe the truth is I'm too dependent on my parents; the last time I earned 500 bucks on this totally boring 10 day job, mother financed my transport cost(s), covered my food expenses and even paid my cab fare when I cabbed home, too exhausted lazy to take public transport home.
Mum gives me allowance on a weekly basis, tops up my Ez link card (outside the weekly sum) and buys me what I desire out of her cash. In fact, even when I save up enough to buy whatever I'm currently lusting over, she ends up forking out cash for it saying it makes her proud that I bothered saving up, all with a smile on her face.
I always thought all this was normal, that this's what a parent is supposed to do, since Dad does the same for me; they sacrifice everything for me.
If there's one prawn in their soup bowl, guess who it goes to. If they don't have money on them at the moment when wanting to purchase some basic necessity in a store, and I happen to want to buy some (stupid) stationery, surprise surprise, I come first.
Yet I'm an unsatisfied, unhappy, greedy human being.
Appalling, tell me otherwise?

This will not continue.
I'm so much better than I used to be, but that isn't good enough.
I want to see my bank balance grow; and I choose to feed it this time with money out of my own pocket.

Holidays

2008-05-30T13:52:00.002+08:00

I've perhaps stopped blogging because I've got too much to say and too little space, or too little to say and such a huge space to fill, or, actually, I'm just plain lazy.

Went to school for Lit yesterday, and glad to say, covered quite a bit.
Next week's gonna' be crazy though, jam-packed with classes.
Tuesday has over-lapping classes, goshh, how do you prioritise subjects anyway?
Well, yeah, H2s are more important, but H1 exams are like, next year?

So anyway, met Jacky after Lit yesterday, tagged along so she could collect her pirated textbook copy from this store with Jerrold.
Thanks Jerrold, for the Management qns. ((:

So anyway, since I've been hallucinating about Subway the past few days and whining (that dosen't happen alot, mind you) about the fact that the nearest Subway from Woodlands is in AMK, we crashed at subway and warmed our asses there for a good few hours.
Ultimately, we ended up perfecting our verbal skills. (Suprise, suprise)
Anyway Jacky dearest, I had a blast. ((:

I've got so much to do and so little time.
I have to do things faster.
FASTER FASTER FASTER.

Note to self : Holidays last 4 weeks, not 4 months.

the agony

2008-04-20T23:08:00.002+08:00

I saw someone after a long time today, and that left my stomach doing flip-flops.
I can't believe how I wished for the ground to part and mercifully swollow me; I just wanted to vanish right there.
An unfamiliar sense of sadness washed over me and made me realise somthing :

It's time I do this for myself.
It's time I stopped making excuses, dwelling over the past and drowning myself in a sea of 'what if(s)'.
It's high time I started mending my wrongs and pushing myself.
When I come to think of it, I'm brining sorrow to myself.

Today is April the 20th, today I embark on a new journey.
And I will succeed if it kills me.

Yesterday's Feelings

2008-04-19T22:21:00.000+08:00

I’ve not felt this invisible in a while, yet being invisible has never felt this good.

I think I finally found someone who fits the bill and suits the role at this time and age. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve yet to see and hear the negatives, but still I like what I like.
Before inferiority starts setting in, let me just say I’m still at the stage where I can ease my heart from slamming against my ribs.
I don’t deny, more like I won’t, that I find it silly, to not know a person yet be attracted like a moth to a flame. Never would’ve fathomed this would happen to me. Yet, let’s (more like, let me) not get too excited and immersed, what I do know is technically only the superficial.
I’m a sucker for niceness, and what got me caught up is anyone’s guess.
Let me just clarify; I know this might just be a passing phase and I know better than to chime the same tune to everyone who’ll listen or start to build sandcastles in the air.

I’m just, well, grateful for your existence. You ensure there’s something for me to look forward to.

Thank-you my two dearest loves, who pulled my leg and left me hyper-ventilating for almost the entire night.
The whole ordeal gave me a preview on what may happen should I be more generous with updates on my personal affairs.

I also now know that I have some of the most wonderful friends that I can ever ask for.

I'm sorry I even doubted you,
I should've known better.
Now I do.. ((: